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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641570">Please Remember Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnedifyoudo/pseuds/damnedifyoudo'>damnedifyoudo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Matt and Kelly's Ultimate Playlist [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Lots of Crying, M/M, Sad, Wakes &amp; Funerals, like fr what am I doing, like so sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:55:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnedifyoudo/pseuds/damnedifyoudo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You'll find better love<br/>Strong as it ever was<br/>Deep as the river runs<br/>Warm as the morning sun<br/>Please remember me"</p><p> </p><p>Every firefighter writes a letter to a loved one when they get their first assignment. They hope it never gets read. But in this line of work, you can never predict what will happen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Matt and Kelly's Ultimate Playlist [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Please Remember Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on the song "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lieutenant Kelly Severide was putting on a brave face for his firehouse, but he wanted nothing more than to break down and cry until he had no tears left.</p><p> </p><p>Captain Matthew Casey – his best friend, his partner, the love of his life – was gone and he was never coming back.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, he had gone out his way: by being a goddamned hero until the end. Going back in for the last victim even though Boden had ordered him not to.</p><p> </p><p>Kelly looked to his left at his Chief. Boden was blaming himself for Casey’s death, no doubt, but deep down everyone at the firehouse knew that nothing could have stopped Casey from going back in. Not even the shouts of his Chief and his boyfriend begging him to stay.</p><p> </p><p>Boden looked to him and nodded briefly in acknowledgement. Boden and Kelly were both slated to speak at the ceremony, but Kelly wondered if either of them would be able to do it without breaking down completely.</p><p> </p><p>As the ceremony officially began, Kelly’s mind went blank. He didn’t know how much time had passed until he heard the gruff voice of his Chief beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“Matthew Casey was an incredible firefighter. One of the best firefighters I have ever had under my command at Firehouse 51. I watched him lead hundreds of calls over the past 12 years with the utmost grace under pressure. It was an absolute pleasure to watch up rise up through the ranks to Captain, and I fully expected him to take over my position as Chief of 51 one day.” Boden took a deep breath, steeling himself before continuing. “But Matthew Casey wasn’t just an amazing firefighter, he was also a great man and a great friend. He was family. He would drop anything to help out a fellow firefighter and did his best every day to make sure his house was taken care of. His absence will have a profound effect on this firehouse and this community. Matthew Casey will always have a place here at 51, even in death.”</p><p> </p><p>Boden walked over to 51’s main entrance, where a sheet covered something on the wall next to the man-door. With somewhat shaky hands, he removed the sheet, which revealed a newly engraved plaque.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Captain Matthew Casey</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Leader, Brother, Friend</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>1979-2024</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>It took everything in Kelly to not start crying right then. Boden hadn’t told him they were doing that. It brought him both pain and comfort knowing that every day when he walked into the firehouse, Casey would be right there greeting him. And then continue to be with him as he worked, in the form of a newly tattooed ring on Kelly’s finger.</p><p> </p><p>But now, Boden was done. It was Kelly’s turn to speak.</p><p> </p><p>He took a deep breath and stepped forward, using the feeling of Boden’s warm hand patting his shoulder to ground him.</p><p> </p><p>“Matthew Casey,” he began, taking another deep breath, “was my partner in some capacity for 20 years. Every day he was by my side, even if we were arguing. He never gave up on me. He never gave up on anybody. He was-“ Kelly choked up then, and the tears started to fall.</p><p> </p><p>“He was everything to me,” Kelly said, fighting back a sob. “And I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without him, because I never have.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelly tried his best to suck in a breath as his crying got more out of control. “I miss you so much, Matty,” he sobbed, looking toward the sky.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, there was a pair of strong but slight arms wrapped around him. He breathed in and immediately knew it was Stella. Normally, she would get in trouble for breaking rank at an official ceremony, but the part of his brain that was still working told him Boden wouldn’t let that happen. Not now, not for this.</p><p> </p><p>He buried his head into her neck and just let it all out as he heard Hermann start to ring the bells.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ding Ding Ding</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Ding Ding Ding </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Ding Ding Ding</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kelly truly realized then, as the bells were ringing out, that Matthew Casey was gone, and he was never coming back.</p><p> </p><p>~~**~~</p><p> </p><p>Kelly woke up hours later in Matt’s bunk. He couldn’t remember how he got there, but he was grateful for it, as the smell of Matt’s cologne in the sheets brought him a small amount of comfort.</p><p> </p><p>“Lieutenant?” Cruz’s voice called to him softly, which must have been what had woken him up in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>Kelly turned around in the bed and sat up slowly, taking in his friend. Cruz didn’t look great – his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days – but Kelly was sure he looked worse somehow.</p><p> </p><p>“I know we hadn’t seen it yet, so I went looking for it,” Cruz brought something out from behind his back. “It’s Casey’s letter. It’s addressed to you. Figured you should have it now and not later.”</p><p> </p><p>Kelly reached out and took the letter from Cruz. He turned it over and saw his name in Matt’s handwriting on the front, completely with a nerdy heart.</p><p> </p><p>“I always knew he was a softie,” Cruz smiled fondly thinking about his former truck captain. “Especially for you. Even before you guys got together and even when you were fighting, he always talked about you with such a proud and fond look on his face.”</p><p> </p><p>Tears started to fall silently down Kelly’s face again. “Thanks, Joe,” he sniffled and cracked a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I know it isn’t exactly the same, but I lost my best friend, too. I’m here if you need anything, okay?” Cruz offered, stepping forward to pat Kelly on the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Kelly put his hand on top of Cruz’s outstretched arm. “I know. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, Cruz gave him a nod and left him alone.</p><p> </p><p>Kelly took a deep breath and opened the letter.</p><p> </p><p>            <em>Kelly, </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>If you’re reading this, it means I’m gone. I’m so sorry, and I know you’re probably mad at me for doing something stupid like going back in to save someone when I shouldn’t have. But I promise I never wanted to leave you alone, even though I know you could have done better than me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Even with my past and my stubbornness, you still chose me, and I will never understand that. But I am forever grateful that you did. I can’t believe I was so lucky to have someone as incredible as you to call my boyfriend. Eventually, I wanted to marry you. I know you’re not big on marriage, but according to Hermann you “would do anything for your Matty” so I think I would have worn you down eventually. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You’re probably mad at yourself right now, because I know you, and even though there is no way you’re at fault for my death, I know you’re blaming yourself in some way. Well, stop. It’s not your fault. I’m the one who decided to be reckless. And please tell Chief to stop blaming himself too. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I know you’re going to miss me, but please don’t be hung up on me forever. You’re amazing and you deserve a wonderful life with someone you love. I’ll always be here looking out for you, but I want you to be happy. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I’ll leave you with the lyrics of a Tim McGraw song that seems fitting: “you’ll find better love, strong as it ever was, deep as the river runs, warm as the morning sun. Please remember me,” but please Kelly, move on and have a good life.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Forever yours, </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Matt</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kelly folded the letter up and put it back in the envelope. He gently put it under the pillow on Matt’s bed before laying back down and cuddling up in the sheets, sniffling as he did so. For Matt, he would do as he asked in the letter.</p><p> </p><p>But for now, everything hurt.</p><p> </p><p>Matthew Casey was gone, and he was never coming back.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>did I just write a fic where a main character dies? me, the eternal "canon death denier"? whoops </p><p>follow me on tumblr @eddiediaz-buckley</p><p>Join the newly created One Chicago discord! https://discord.gg/vBGaJx2</p></blockquote></div></div>
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